Well not blogged for few days now shock horror!!! But i am alive, well and safe no need to panic :) The past week I have been battling inner turmoil about my future. I think when you become engaged you start thinking long term and if this is what you want forever until the day one of you dies. Well turns out few things i was unhappy with that were building up one was a desperate need for a date night as we haven't been out for a while and just connected and the amount of football and pub meaning i have no life. I do have a life but what i mean is a little bit of me time as im either at work (love my job) or when im not working i am always with my daughter (love her too) my fiance seems to think i do have a life and on my days off go gallivanting with friends. Yes it is being social but it is not the same you still need some you time, i am still a person. I choose to have my daughter but i did not choose to give up my life. So very long heart to heart and few scar tactics later i joined the gym and so far have been out several times either before or after his football, i must say after a week i am feeling better in myself, my stress levels are down even if its just a 40 min work out it makes me feel better and its really motivating as i am now making a very big effort to eat healthy and drink plenty of water. I have also brought myself a car, I have now got to a stage where car sharing is not practical me and my daughter are outdoor people, being restricted by lack of transport (both of us loath long bus journeys) so will have a car in couple of weeks which will mean getting out more, going to the forest etc as she has just discovered puddles it will also give me more independence and control so very pleased there. Today i enjoyed some me time with a girl from work, we got our nails done, had lattes, did lunch with a glass of wine and shopped for 80's outfits for her birthday at the end of the month. It was great to just have that girly time and just chat etc. I love my daughter dearly and my fiance but i have found that having a bit more me time motivates me and i am a better partner and mother for it as i am happy. So in a week i have achieved alot. Am looking forward to Sunday my fiances is taking me out to an Italian for an early valentines cant wait :) so bad start to week with an emotional turmoil but some communication and compromise the week is ending on a high. Now that i have done that what shall i sort next world peace or world hunger?? hmmm maybe my other half's language when he plays the xbox?? no stopping all world wars would be easier ;P
No comments:
Post a Comment